You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
