So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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