a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
COCAINE IS GR8
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize