worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
