She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
