mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
