I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
