I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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