i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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