"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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