so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
