That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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