she woke up with a sticky ear
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
