Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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