covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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