It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
