I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
