PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
