I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
