you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
