Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
