So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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