I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Randomize
