It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
