If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
