Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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