it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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