He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
