No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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