Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
