We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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