you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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