You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
