i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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