Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize