we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
