Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
