it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
