i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
