Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
