oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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