i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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