why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
