come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
