We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
