also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
only you would photoshop your dick
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
