Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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