he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
