I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
