Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
