just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
