went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
