therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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