He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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