I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize