we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
