It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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