he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
