Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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