garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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