her vagine was all disorganized.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
