The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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