It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
