Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
