I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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